Containment: Choose What You Carry Into Intimacy


What if you could temporarily let go of anxiety or your to-do list to be fully available for intimacy?

Not by suppressing or avoiding—but by consciously choosing what you bring into an intimate moment?

This is what the somatic practice of containment makes possible.

What is Containment?

Containment is about consciously choosing what you bring into an intimate moment. And whatever you aren't bringing in, you let it go by temporarily putting it into a container.

Here's the thing: you can't always process everything in real time.

Sometimes you want to be present to the relational moment, but you notice being pulled away by fear, anxiety, or mental clutter. Containment gives you a way to temporarily set those things aside—not to avoid them, but to choose when and how you engage with them.

How Containment Works

A containment practice looks like:

  1. Recognizing what you don't have capacity for at this moment (or what doesn't need to be here right now)
  2. Intentionally letting it go for a specific amount of time
  3. Returning to it later, when you have the space to process

Containment isn't about bypassing or stuffing things down. It's about conscious choice of timing, based on capacity.

This is what makes containment different from suppression or avoidance.

Examples of Containment in Intimate Moments

During a Date

You're on a date and notice your fear of rejection coming up. You excuse yourself to the bathroom. You take a breath, acknowledge the fears of a younger part of you, and then place those fears into a container.

This containment allows you to continue your date from a place of empowerment and security, rather than fear.

Before Sex

You're about to have sex with your partner and your mind is still running through its endless to-do list. You can place that to-do list into a container, so that you can be fully present with your partner.

The Essential Part: Coming Back to the Container

When you use containment, coming back to the container is essential.

This is what makes containment different from suppression or avoidance. When you place something in the container, commit to when you'll return to it. This might be later that evening, the next morning, or whenever you have capacity.

When you return, you have choices:

Let it go entirely if you realize it doesn't need your energy (like that to-do list that felt urgent but wasn't actually important).

Tend to what's there if it needs attention (like checking in with your inner child's fear of rejection after a disappointing date).

Try This Containment Practice

Access a guided containment practice.

You Now Have Three Powerful Somatic Tools

Over this series, you've learned:

  • Orienting — coming back to the present moment when you're triggered
  • Grounding — anchoring into your body so you can be available for intimacy
  • Containment — choosing what you bring into intimate moments

These practices will support you in staying present and navigating triggering moments, so that you can choose connection over defense.

From Learning to Embodying

But here's what I know from working with clients:

Reading about and embodying these tools are two different things.

Real transformation happens when you practice these tools in real-time with support. When you apply them to challenging sensations that arise and have someone help you stay with your experience.

In Your Dream Intimate Life, my private 1:1 coaching container, we work with these somatic tools (and many others) as they arise in the moment. We practice them together as challenging patterns arise in our sessions.

This is how you build lasting somatic capacity—the kind that transforms your intimate life from the inside out.

If you're ready to receive the intimacy, connection, and erotic aliveness you crave while feeling secure and deeply connected to yourself, learn more about working together and apply for your spot.

Which tool resonated most with you? I'd love to hear—leave a comment below or reach out directly.